Thought You Might Like To Know...

This is a broadcast to family and friends. It is a follow-up to the other posts regarding my Linda.  I mean to give thanks and inform regarding the Celebration itself.

First off, I want to thank you for being on the receiving end of my grief and despair. When losing a loved one there is nothing anyone can say that will make a difference. What would I say to someone else? "I am sorry for your loss," is about as simple and as honest as it gets. I would then add something that your loved one meant to me, perhaps something you did not know. As her husband and eternal companion I can say that Linda was the most beautiful woman, in every respect, that I have ever known. Perhaps you did not know that. It is too bad that time ravages a body, but we always accepted that as a condition of living. We were happy to live as young through our children and grandchild.

That is my mom on the left and Linda's mom on the right of the photo, at our wedding reception. I would and did marry Linda again, and again... In my mind I married her every day. Every day our relationship got off to a brand new start.

Some of the words used over and again to express condolences and acknowledgements regarding Linda are: sweet, wonderful, understanding, lady, love, gentle, peaceful, amazing, calm, quiet. Linda did not ~try~ to be any of those things. She was to y'all simply as described. She was all that and more to the family. We treasure knowing the impression she made on each of you. So, thank you.

And, I might add, she was sexy:

And she had the most beautiful hands that God ever gave a woman:

Here we are at the Sacramento Airport a couple of years ago:

We do not have an accurate count on how many people visited throughout the day and night. I figure around 200. Family flew in from California and Colorado. Family drove in from South Carolina. Neighbors walked in. Parking space was limited. I have never seen our little street so filled with vehicles.

Our oldest daughter gave a good account of the Celebration with pictures on her blogspot. I have nothing to add:

jessicaswatts.blogspot.com

Thank you all for being there for us,

Ted

Linda Crammer's Celebration Of Life

Hello Family and Friends,

Everyone has been asking about a service for Linda, when is it, where, etc.

I will now clarify our plans for Saturday, 21 August, 2010.

But before I do that, let me thank those of you who were able to see Linda during her last days in the hospital. Your kind words are most appreciated. To those of you who embraced her in prayer, we thank you. To those of you who sent flowers, we thank you. To those of you who flew in from across the country, we thank you. Every contribution from every thoughtful, caring person was, is, and will always be appreciated by the family and me even if you were not able to visit.

Linda and I kept her illness to ourselves, the immediate family, a few good friends, and our doctors. If you did not have a chance to see her off, please accept our apologies. We just wanted to get well, then report to y'all that we had beaten the illness and were doing fine. Unfortunately, we just ran out of time.

Why not a service? I decided it best to address this matter for Linda the same way now as I would during her life. A service would give her too much attention of a kind that would make her uncomfortable. On the other hand, she loved to have company, she loved to watch family and friends enjoy the pool, she loved a fine but simple meal, and she loved her red wine -- on occasion.

So this is our plan: On Saturday, 21 August, we will have an open house. You are invited to Linda's home to celebrate her, her life, her family, her friends. From mid-morning, through the afternoon, the evening, and into the night, please enjoy yourselves. Stay a little while, stay all day. Whatever makes you comfortable, whatever you feel is appropriate. Meet some people who knew or worked or played with Linda. Chat. Eat. Drink. Swim. Relax.

What to bring? Bring whatever you want. Some people have already brought us their tears. That is perfectly acceptable. Some have already brought condolences, prayers, flowers, food, money,... And the Celebration hasn't even started! We can't afford to feed everyone, but there will be drinks and BBQ, places to sit, places to stand, in the house where it's cool, or outside. Bring your favorite dish. Bring ice. Bring whatever. I am certain everyone can find a spot to be comfortable. Linda liked to be comfortable. Oh, yes, as it is a celebration, bring smiles and laughter, too.

If you would like to gather some people into an audience to say a few words, this is acceptable. We have a local artist who will bring her music. You see, whatever you bring, it's going to be good. You can even bring just yourself.

As for our family and friends who live too far away to make it, no problem. Give us a call on the 21st. You can participate long-distance. Or just send a warm thought our way. You have no idea how much appreciated your calls and kind thoughts will be.

What would we, the family, like to have when the day is done? A proper day of remembrance, proper for who Linda was, and still is to us. I would suppose that others outside of the family would like to walk away from the Celebration with a sense of connection and completion. Think about what you would like. We will try to make that happen, too.

Most of you know where we live. You know our phone numbers. For those of you who do not, shoot me an e-mail and I will return the info.

Best wishes, hope to see you on the 21st.


Ted


Your comments about and experiences with Linda would be most appreciated. Please add to the blog under Our Stories of Linda:

Previous Emails Sent Out To Close Family

The following are emails that were sent out to our close family members to let them know what was happening with Linda while she was in the hospital.  There aren't many because changes in her condition happened pretty fast.

My Linda
Friday, July 30, 2010

Hello Dear, Forever Friends:

Linda, self-effacing in the extreme, would, at times, not go so far as to say, "Hello," for fear of drawing too much attention to herself. Hence, any difficulty she might have had to bear would likely be done in silence. Yet, I can say in complete confidence that if you receive this e-mail from me, Linda considered you a friend and/or mentor.

That's just the way she is. So, the news...

Linda has been struggling with lung cancer having been diagnosed in February or thereabouts. She completed 35 days of radiation with tremendous perseverance. The treatment took a lot out of her. While resting and waiting to determine the next treatment, when, what type, etc. Linda came down with a case of pneumonia. The cancer is growing fast.

She has been in the ICU of Orlando Regional Medical Center since last Saturday night. She is slipping away from us, fast.

Though she has been pretty much gone for the past 5 days, she is still being visited by family and friends. Any kind words or remembrances you would  care to make would be most appreciated by the family -- and of course, me. I am beside myself, beyond grief.

She would be embarrassed to know of all the people who have paid a visit, seeing her at her absolute worst. But I have thought it best for all concerned to allow visitors with their kinds words, prayers, and good wishes. If Linda is upset with me for that, she and I will have to settle up later. I will look forward to that.

As I said, Linda is slipping fast. Based on her vital signs, x-rays, and stats, she will be physically gone soon.

Best wishes to you each and every one,

Ted



Linda Update Sunday Morning
August 1, 2010

We, the family, had a rough day yesterday. Fortunately, when one of us was upset and confused, another of us wasn't. So we managed to pull ourselves together to do what must be done.

Linda came off life support Saturday, about 5:45 p.m. By 5:50 p.m. she had managed her departure in the presence of her family. I spoke with her all the while assuring her that she would be okay once she let go of the body, and in good hands. As she moved out she sent me a big, unmistakable, "I love you," the heart monitor flatlined, and the being that was Linda momentarily filled the room, then disappeared. Our son, Jack looked up as if to watch her go.

I think I speak for the whole family when I say, "My God, we loved her."

Here is a link to a slide show we made for Linda's 60th birthday party.

Please enjoy it as we do.

Mom's 60th Video   (It runs on Quicktime, Mac or PC.)

Ted

Your comments about and experiences with Linda would be most appreciated. Please add to the blog under Our Stories of Linda